我還能撐多久？

近日晴雨交錯，一會兒下雨一會兒晴天猶如我近期的心情。

從很喜歡豎笛很喜歡音樂，可到現在已經不知道自己在幹什麼了。

當下還是努力抽空出來練習，想要進步，但熱情逐日被澆熄中。

生活也很不如意，想完成的目標也一次又一次地被打退堂鼓，只憑意志力撐下去。

一天起來充滿希望及動力，第二天起來充滿絕望及被動。

如此反反复复，負面的情緒也逐漸佔更多的比例。

身邊的朋友也越來越少，心靈的寄託也越來越少，我感到孤單無助。

這道路，我還要走多久，而我還能走多久呢？

我走得下去嗎？我現下覺得，與其活著，不如長眠。

繼續觀心

RIP Choo Han Peng

Slept rather late today, waking up at near noon.

I picked up my phone beside my pillow, as usual, checking if anyone contacted me and browse the Facebook for a while.

A post/news immediately struck me and jump off the bed trying to get more details.

Two friends of mine, on their way to airport sending another to Asian Youth Orchestra world tour trip, involved in a car accident which cost a life of one.

The other guy is in stable condition now, to both of them, it was both fortunate and unfortunate.

I can't handle this at the moment, my recent dilemma now seems a tiny compare to this tragic event.

I worked with both of them. Two good friends, we were quite close back then, when I was in Malaysia (currently in Taiwan pursuing studies), we played music together, talked together, and hanged out together.

Now the working experience become a memory, only to be reminiscent from now onward.

May you rest in peace, my prayers shall be with you always.

Thank you for being with us in our journey in music.

What I feels like doing :
Cry, blaming, give up...


What I should be doing :
Smile, be strong, persevere..


Would I, Could I..



I need some drinks..

jumppp

very tired.. very stressed.. what's the point?

emo

This post is dedicated to few fella kohs in the group.. Read this you bunch of scumbags..

I cannot tolerate you all being late without good excuse anymore, more over, late without notification in advance, what the hell..

One of our KOHS friend's graduation, hey hey, ppl's big important event.. The KOHS site also written there damn clearly 10am



note its written there 10am, not 12:30pm

And yet our BROTHERS are turning up at nearly 1pm after the ceremony had long finished, guest are having their refreshment and people are leaving the hall..

more over, asked us to go out from the hall, go down and meet them up, so freaking big shot as if you're the one who graduate that day.. are you from some sort of black society or mafia group ?
I've been busying since early morning 7 sumtg and this is the response you ppl give for our graduated KOH..

Dear mind-absented friends, I dunno whatever problems you guyz have, traffic jam ? ohh, you should have came earlier in whatever kind of event you attend.. Or what, all of you suddenly have your arms cacat-ed that you can't even raise your arm to look at the watch or take out your handphones, or your neck cacat-ed that u can't bend up down left right to look any time around, or your eyes cacat-ed at the moment you turns to anything that shows the time, or you can't read numbers all of the sudden.. If you want to buy anything, buy them one day in advance, scums..

Late ady, came up with that retarded face hi hi ha ha, hey are you really retarded ? I hope you're not, cuz I dun find any retarded members in our group.. or now, maybe some.

In the night, asked me out for yum cha, I told you ppl I'm afraid I mite be late cuz I'm having rehearsals, and I always tell you guyz that I'll be late, and I rushed to meet you guyz after my rehearsals, I always do.. I've been driving whole day from east to west and north to south and I'm freaking tired and moody..

So now I rushed to meet you guyz, juz to find out some big shot fella is still at home only to come out after receiving my call.. And the rest are juz about to depart from sumwhere far.. WTF ? that makes me pissed off, I only have time until 12am or 1230am to meet you up since we hardly meet up and I appreciate it.. So this is another kind of response I get from you all ?

Now you tell me chill, chill, chill, deng dit lei, F***, where's your chill whenever you ppl emo ? And some complains that we never understand their situation.. But have guyz tried to understand the others ?

You ppl tolerate my weakness and I tolerate yours but this is too much.. F*** you all, screw up..

F*** you all again, what are you? KOHS or LUIS ? only girls make guyz wait, do you bunch of sissy guyz also play basketball like Na Yeng ? then you better go play ur own balls and dun ever let your gf touch it cuz it not meant for them..

eat this A.holes.. oOo oOo

A Day to Be Remembered

A DAY TO BE REMEMBERED..


travelled from kajang to sg wang just to buy a damn shoe polish..

congratz to her , I hope she didn't read this, hahaha..

Wasted alot petrol, waaahhhh