how true

aimless, helpless..

few nights have passed..

the only time i start falling asleep is 7am, after whole night of torturing in the mind..

that makes me late for work for these few days, gonna start sweet talking before i get fired..

im not playing music anymore.. im just producing sounds of notes..

there's no motivation to advance myself..

because i have no goals?

it can't be any more despair, realizing you do not have goals or dreams anymore..

only wandering in your own realm of suffering..

it's just the same as dead..

starting to feel a little pain in the chest, perhaps too little rest..

hair starts falling too, noticed that the bathroom drainage getting more hair..

under my eye reflecting dark color through the skin..

can't even get myself to speak clearly with customers, only mumbling, or day dream in the mid of conversation..

feels annoyed with person who talks to me, just have to talk casually as if nothing ever happened..

im losing my appetite.. skipping breakfast and dinner, only have lunch for the whole day..

instead start taking a lot of sweet stuff and coffee to keep myself awake during the day..

curiously & seriously, what would smoking + drinking till drunk would feels like?

How long have it been

The situation is going worst..

I wonder how long can I withstand before I breakdown spiritually..

I don't find friends around..

It's been years since you've gone..

How long have it been since the last time I shared my problem?

Where are you? I miss you.

Good concert, Bad audience

A good concert, an opposite to the raining night..

The notes were beautiful, the melody were sweet,

Lovely music..

Why did it pierce my heart painfully instead?

Audiences are cheery..

Was trying to enjoy the music..

Was forcing myself to squeeze out some smile..

The more I pay attention to the music, the heart feels pain..

It feels terribly bad..

It's not in my blood.. It's definitely not in my blood..

it seems, tonight is another sleepless night again..

What is there left for me..

This is so painful, so painful.. 

I see no moon, but only night.. 

Felt so choked up.. felt so cold.. 

Feels like bursting.. Feels like vomiting.. 

Feels like crying.. Feels like shouting.. 

But as if a silence vow is made.. 

Sleepless night, restless mind.. 

Passion turned hatred.. 

To nowhere my despair leads.. 

Time moves forward, so do everything, everyone,

Finding the comes, and the goes, 

Struggling to move forward, 

To catch up, 

Only to realize, I'm still at the same spot. 

Only to realize, the worst is yet to come.. 

Passion turned stubbornness, ignorance, fear

Wandering like soul-less.. 

So many things left for me, but

Nothing seems interesting anymore.. 

No one seems trustworthy anymore.. 

As if, only money concerns, 

As if, only money matters, 

Poison myself with it.. 

Drowning myself with it.. 

Right now, life is so meaningless.. 

Reminds me of a joke of myself.. 

Perhaps I should really go back to Mars, 

Living alone,

As if I have never exist.. 

Or I shouldn't have, afterall.. 

What the world really needs..

What the world needs now is love, sweet love

It's the only thing that there's just too little of

What the world needs now is love, sweet love,

No not just for some but for everyone.

Lord, we don't need another mountain,

There are mountains and hillsides enough to climb

There are oceans and rivers enough to cross,

Enough to last till the end of time.

What the world needs now is love, sweet love

It's the only thing that there's just too little of

What the world needs now is love, sweet love,

No, not just for some but for everyone.

Lord, we don't need another meadow

There are cornfields and wheat fields enough to grow

There are sunbeams and moonbeams enough to shine

Oh listen, lord, if you want to know.

What the world needs now is love, sweet love

It's the only thing that there's just too little of

What the world needs now is love, sweet love,

No, not just for some but for everyone.

No, not just for some, oh, but just for everyone.

Brian Tan Wee Thean

您的心意，我收下了。保重..

Bangkok

the day didn't start off so nice.. i was caught in a jam..

apparently a car was burnt near taman cannaught

fireman putting out the fire

later in the afternoon went to Trinity Diploma Graduation Ceremony to work, first time controlling audio and video at the same time, almost messed up.. didn't bother to take any more pics since its not related to the title.

shortly after ceremony, took a flight to bangkok with company.. 

this is the first time I visit Thailand, Bangkok, was quite excited. 

The king of the Thailand is a jazz saxophonist, but I saw him playing the trumpet. His love for jazz music is so influencing that you don't get to listen Eminem or Gaga around the city, but mostly Jazz, classical, broadways, oldies, sentimetals, light pop music and so on.. 

The hotel our company stays in.. Sivatel.. We get to stay in this place because the wife of the owner runs the Trinity music examination in Thailand. The top floor of its office next to the hotel was used as a music school and examination center. 

courtyard

lobby light

sky lobby at 17th floor, all the check in outs are made here

The guests are served with a drink during the check in

the pool side area. 

the swimming pool

the sky lounge

the hotel dining area

The dining room interior 1

The dining room interior 2

my room

my room bathroom

a working desk

a minibar

with much more choices of drinks, of course, nothing is free

the clock comes with radio and ipod port

the TV equipped with Apple TV and internet access

So you can spend your holidays facebooking on this damn big screen.

fresh apple and bananas for you to eat or whatever

some shots of the city

I can't see its end.

Tallest building in Bangkok, observer desk was built on top to see the entire bangkok but I didn't managed to visit it due to lack of time. 

night shots

We were brought to some butcher shop for supper in the first night after arrival. 

this food are really nice.. 

but they are not cheap as well, 40 baht just for plain water. 

(We had a company meeting the next day, but it was boring, I slept and didn't took any pics)

During the free day, we went to visit Chatuchak market. Sensors and security check points are installed in each MRT, securities does check your bag, but nobody bothers about the sensors, people just ignore it. 

bright color taxis

the station

the entrance of the market

The chatuchak market was rather famous and among the tourism hot spot. 

So big that they say it sums up a size of 3 ~ 4 football field.

Nothing really fancy me, it is definitely famous just because for its size. I did bought, but 2 T-shirts. 

While I was walking around the market I saw a lot of young females chasing from each entrance to another (there are a few entrances to the market)

I soon learned that they are all astronomers, trying to get a place to look for certain star. 

They are stars from Korea, girls are cheering excitingly and loud upon sighting these stars.

(I don't know why would the uncle in the previous picture interested in this kind of star)

Some astronomer managed to get a close sight of the stars

Taking photos next to the star 

That particular spot in the market was certainly flooded with crowds. 

What rather interest me is this boy playing a Khene, basking. 

He only play a sustaining note, and a melody consists of only 5th ~ 3rd below the sustaining note.

A rather medium sized set drum was left in the corner unattended.

A familiar looking sailor has started his new life in Bangkok, probably just to make some allowance before he continue his trip to Melacca. 

The Chatuchak park, right outside the market. 

They like to place a mat under a tree and just sit there relaxing.

Despite of those heavy traffic and dust caused by the road next to it. 

A clock tower is erected in the mid of the park

Some plaza near to the park, I realized 1Utama parking complex wasn't too bad afterall. 

Paid a visit to Jim Thompson's once house now museum

He's a silk trader. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Thompson_(designer)

A guy who built his house with only wood without a single nail

A very successful silk trader however disappeared mysteriously without a single trace when he visits Malaysia. 

Similar thing happened to Scottish and Mongolian tourist while they are in Malaysia

A restaurant

Took a short tour around the house, a lot of antique collections, unfortunately unable to take any photos of its interior due to prohibition.

this turtle is rather a daring ones, swim approaching me with no fear though I poke it on its shell for fun

Riding a tuk tuk back to hotel

I prefer this tuk tuk

I don't understand why a glass of water was placed underneath.

At night, we visited the Siam Nirmait, a thai cultural show. 

The elephant, as a tourist attraction, later make its appearance in the stage drama show. 

The buffet dining area, simple designed but foods are fantastic, some guy would walk around to perform magic trick as entertainment. 

the plaza

Ride the elephant for only 100 baht, hehe

The MUST SEE SHOW of Thailand

I wonder what it is.. 

Oh I see

It turned to be really a fantastic show. The stage was even listed into Guiness world record. The stage design is way so high tech, the show is so damn nice and even animals like goat chicken and elephants are shown. The guys are so muscular while the girls are so sexy. The sound effect is superb. The scenes are 10++ layered for different plays and with many real nature atmosphere effect. A truly must see show, I wished that I could go and see again. 

http://www.siamniramit.com/

Afterwards went to Chinatown

nothing really fascinating.. probably bcuz im too tired from watching the must see show.. 

Lunch

some nice food I get to enjoyed back in hotel for the few days before I go back Malaysia

Then the dinner, we were celebrating David's 80th birthday

The food are really wonderful

But home cooks are definitely the best.