What is there left for me..

This is so painful, so painful.. 

I see no moon, but only night.. 

Felt so choked up.. felt so cold.. 

Feels like bursting.. Feels like vomiting.. 

Feels like crying.. Feels like shouting.. 

But as if a silence vow is made.. 

Sleepless night, restless mind.. 

Passion turned hatred.. 

To nowhere my despair leads.. 

Time moves forward, so do everything, everyone,

Finding the comes, and the goes, 

Struggling to move forward, 

To catch up, 

Only to realize, I'm still at the same spot. 

Only to realize, the worst is yet to come.. 

Passion turned stubbornness, ignorance, fear

Wandering like soul-less.. 

So many things left for me, but

Nothing seems interesting anymore.. 

No one seems trustworthy anymore.. 

As if, only money concerns, 

As if, only money matters, 

Poison myself with it.. 

Drowning myself with it.. 

Right now, life is so meaningless.. 

Reminds me of a joke of myself.. 

Perhaps I should really go back to Mars, 

Living alone,

As if I have never exist.. 

Or I shouldn't have, afterall..